Nannies and Baby Nurses and Postpartum Doulas, Oh My!

So many families these days are realizing that when a new baby comes along an extra set of hands may become necessary.  And many women now a days do not have immediate family members close by or even in the same country to help out when baby arrives.  So these smart families are turning to outside help.  

The options available to new families is vast.  From Nannies, to Baby Nurses, to Postpartum Doulas and more.  But what is the right choice for you? 

First you have to decide what it is you are looking for? Do you want someone to look after your baby for you?  Do you need someone to look after an older sibling while you look after baby and recover?  Do you need someone to help with baby and you and assist with breastfeeding? Are you worried about postpartum mood disorders? Do you need something completely different? 

Let's look at a few of your options?

Nannies are generally used to look after older babies and children and follow the instructions given by the parent. They often live in with the family and don't usually assist with housework or laundry or caring for the postpartum mum.  They are not trained in breastfeeding support or in recognizing postpartum mood disorders.  They often work with families for many years. 

Baby Nurses are usually hired to care solely for the baby.  They too are not hired to assist mum with her postpartum recovery, take on housework or do laundry.  As with Nannies, Baby Nurses are not trained to assist with breastfeeding, though if they have had babies of their own, they may have a basic knowledge.  And as their primary function is to care for baby, they are also not trained to recognize postpartum mood disorders or look after older children.  Baby Nurses also must be trained nurses if they are using that title.  

Postpartum Doulas are trained to work with families in the first few days, first few weeks, first few months after baby comes home.  They are hired to support a new mum and her family while she recovers from her birth.  Their main priority is the mum.  Helping her with breastfeeding support, making sure she is eating, letting her rest while the doula watches the baby, listening to her process her birth experience and recognizing if mum is experiencing any postpartum mood disorder symptoms.

Postpartum Doulas will also help with educating the new family on all things infant.  How to bath and diaper a baby, tips for helping to soothe a crying baby, baby wearing, showing families real life hacks on how to cope with a new baby in the house.  Postpartum Doulas educate and support with the latest, up to date, evidenced based information and not just anecdotal suggestions.  

Postpartum Doulas will help with light duties around the house including mum and baby's laundry, cleaning the kitchen, preparing meals and anything else that might alleviate any stress from mum so she can concentrate on her recovery.  They can also help when there are older children in the house, keeping them entertained and happy to ease the pressure off of mum or watching baby while toddler has some mummy time, so they don't feel left out.  

Postpartum Doulas are also trained in supporting a family that may have been blessed with more than one precious bundle.  When babies come in multiples doulas can be that extra set of hands either during the day or over night when having more than one newborn can be overwhelming.  

Postpartum Doulas also support the rest of the family, including partner and grandparents, by modeling helpful support of the new mum and baby, answering questions, offering resources and educating everyone to help bridge the gap between old traditions and modern practices.  

We as a society were never designed to raise our offspring alone.  Like our ancestors so many generations ago, we are supposed to have our babies and raise them in a community, surrounded by our women, our mothers, sisters, aunties and grandmothers.  Being supported while we recover and learning from these experienced women on how to care for our babies.  Today, however, we are disconnected from our families either by distance or fractured family dynamics.  Yet we still need the support to make mums recovery quick and easy and to learn the many things associated with having a baby.  Mum still needs to have the tools to feel confident in her role as mother and nurturer and she can't get that from a book or the internet.  New mothers need mothering.  Postpartum Doulas are a great option for women and families that want more from their postpartum experience.  

So if you are having a baby, think about what you need, what you want. And consider hiring a doula for you and your newly expanding family. 

The value of a supportive word...

This was not the topic I was intending to write about but sometimes situations arise and you can't help but voice your outrage and concern.

A friend recently came home from a VBAC birth and told me how the doctor basically told her client to stop wasting her time, it was just going to be a ceserean any way, he refused to take responsibility for her and that walking around was a complete waste of time. The client did everything she could and my friend had her doing things we never knew a labouring woman could accomplish while in active labour.

Unfortunately after more then 24 hrs it did end up in a ceserean section.

But why would a doctor come into a hopeful and happy situation and burst every balloon in the room with his words. When a woman is in labour she is so open to the connotations of words. A woman who feels supported and loved and safe will do amazing things during her labour. Her discomfort will be diminished, her labour will go faster, she will not fear the process and listen to her body, and she will preceive the birth in a much better light regardless of the outcome when her basic human needs are met.

Now I'm not saying that in the case of my friend her client would have had a vaginal birth if her doctor hadn't been such a mean guy, but perhaps she would have had a better outcome, a more pleasant experience, a shorter experience, who knows.

Kindness costs nothing, it doesn't infringe on our health care costs but the benefits are huge and it would go a long way if doctors and nurses and friends and family would remember that when talking to a pregnant or labouring woman.

That's my soap box for today, perhaps I'll get to write the next post I was planning on and chat about why you aren't too fat, short or old to have a baby.