10 Reasons Not To Not Hire A Doula

I read a blog entry recently about doulas called “10 Reasons to not hire a doula”.  It was, according to the author, meant to be a parody.  As a doula I found none of it funny.  And actually was annoyed by its perpetuation of the doula stereotype.  So I decided to write a rebuttal.  I’ll try for humour as best I can and I hope to not anger anyone in the process of examining the “10 Reasons not to not hire a doula”.

Point one, Expense.  Yes Doulas are an out of pocket expense for most people.  And as the writer of the blog was American who probably has to pay medical expenses to have a baby I can see where this would be an issue.  In Canada we spend our money on the acres and acres of crap you don’t need when you have a baby.  Thousands of dollars in nursery furniture and décor in a room your child won’t even use for the first 6 months of their life, clothes from Old Navy and Baby Gap that your infant will enjoy spitting up on and pooping in.  Have you experienced the explosive poop? You better hope it isn’t in the $40 Gap onsie, cause no amount of Oxyclean will get that stain out.  And what about the $50 Nike baby running shoes? You squeeze them onto your baby’s potato shaped feet and if you’re lucky you won’t lose one in the mall, never to be seen again. 

Perhaps saving some of that money to spend on the day of your birth might be money better spent.  When you are 90 years old and you can’t remember what you had for breakfast that day, you will be able to recall your birth.  You probably won’t be giving birth 20 times like Michelle Duggar so why not make the experience as calm and stress free as possible.  Having a doula helps you be involved in the birth, have your questions answered and makes you feel a part of the birth and not that the birth just happened to you.  Also for the dads, we make you guys look like rock stars.  We show you how to help and let you be as involved as you want to be, at your own comfort level. 

And if the expense is still too much for you, many doulas work on a sliding scale or you could get a doula-in-training who may work for expenses or free. 

Point two, apparently all women just want to get the baby out as fast as possible. Funny, this is the precise reason to hire a doula.  Studies have shown that having a doula has been instrumental in shortening the length of labour and decreasing the severity of the discomfort felt.  I really don’t think I need to say more on this one. 

Point three, “A doula may try to talk you out of having drugs.” That is crazy.  I’ve had two epidurals and they are wonderful things.  I’ve also done it without drugs.  I would never talk a momma out of having an epidural unless her baby was sitting on her perineum.  This is not the doula’s birth.  Its the momma’s birth and if she wants drugs, no problem.  Hook her up.  If she doesn’t, I can get her to the end.  If she wants to try to go as long as possible without, I’m there.  Whatever momma wants, momma gets.

Point four, if the doula becomes a peppy cheerleader, the author will punch her.  Well so would I.  You hire a doula that fits with our personality.  If you are dragging and the end is overwhelming you we can be peppy if that’s your style, we can be strong and tough, we can be the shoulder to cry on, we can give you hints and tips to get you over that hump.  So I encourage you to interview several doulas to make sure you find the right doula for you, one that fits with your personality.

Point five, Doulas do not offer the doctor help.  We are not medical.  We assist in comfort measure suggestions, tidying the room, helping mum shift position, getting cold cloths and ice chips, supporting mum’s leg during pushing, watching dad so he doesn’t faint, but never suggestions on momma’s medical care.  That’s just crazy.  Doulas help parents make decisions by ensuring they have all the information and in order to do that we read lots of studies, on the internet.  But we help parents navigate the crap that can be found on the internet so what they know is evidence based and up-to-date.  Though I’ll admit, there is the odd doctor I’d love to see have a head explosion, that is out of my scope of practice.   And I’ll address the “hippie” comment in point nine.

Point six, I agree you shouldn’t have dozens of people in the labour room.  But the people you have shouldn’t be spectators either.  The people you invite to your birth should be helpful and encouraging and supportive of your choices.  That may not be your mother-in-law or you teenage sister.  Birth is not a spectators sport.  It’s an intimate experience that you will remember for the rest of your life.  So choose wisely.  And as for the oblivion mommas used to experience and get their babies three days later?  Well in my opinion, that’s what’s wrong with the world today.  We are a messed up society because we messed up birth for so many generations.  I’ll jump off my soap box here as I could go on a tangent.

Point seven, Breastfeeding. Yes we help with breastfeeding.  If you don’t want to breastfeed that’s your choice.  Doulas support choice.  Many mommas though want to breastfeed and it isn’t easy.  The most successful breastfeeding mommas are those that have support at home and can have their questions answered and latches checked.  But if you don’t want to breastfeed, doulas can help in giving advice on safe formula feeding. 

Point eight, lady bits? Really? I can’t even come up with a decent response to that one. 

Point nine, Crunchy granola hippie doulas.  Let’s see, I shave my legs and arm pits, wear make-up, dye my hair and get my nails done every two weeks.  I recycle and compost because my city requires me to, not because I want to and my car is far from eco-friendly.  As doulas go, I’m lumpy oatmeal at best.  I don’t say Yoni. I say Vagina, because that’s what it is.  I don’t chant or wear flowy skirts and beads.  I wear high heeled shoes not Birkenstocks.  I have never been a hippie and would never be accused of being one.  This point is the one that irritated me the most.  I don’t have a problem with my doula sisters who are crunchy, they are beautiful women.  But that’s not who I am. 

Point ten, the best point. Postpartum Doulas are awesome and very helpful in assisting new moms in the early days and weeks of motherhood.  They help with breastfeeding, making sure mom is getting rest, getting good food, having her house tidied and her questions answered, all without judgment of her choices.

Look, having a doula isn’t for everyone.  But having a stereotyped opinion of a doula and knocking them without really knowing who we are or what we do is just bad form.  So the next time you’re pregnant or the first time, look at what you want for your birth and the experience you will hold for a life time and consider the benefits of hiring a doula to ensure you get the birth you want, whatever it happens to look like.